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CONSIDER WESLEY

“Know Thyself,” said the inscription of the Delphic oracle. Pagan though this source may be, self-knowledge has been a consistent starting point for Christian spirituality. Ignatius Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises begin with a week devoted to the knowledge of one’s sin in relation to the perfections of Christ. John Calvin’s Institutes of the Christian Religion begins with “The Knowledge of Self in relation to the Knowledge of God.” (For the record, John Calvin and Ignatius Loyola were both students at the University of Paris, their careers there overlapping for a month or so in the summer of 1535.) Having considered Wesley’s manners of studying the Scriptures, the heritage of the Christian faith, and his contemporary world, we turn in this fourth reflection to his own self-understanding. 

It is perhaps dangerous to speak of the positive value of self-knowledge today, for it is far too often taken to imply a kind of narcissism, a preoccupation with oneself. But self-knowledge could be described by Ignatius Loyola, John Calvin, and John Wesley as humility, which Wesley defines as “a right judgment of ourselves, [which] cleanses our minds from those high conceits of our own perfections, from the undue opinions of our own abilities and attainments...” (sermon on “The Circumcision of the Heart,” I:2). John Wesley made it clear that the humble self-knowledge involved in repentance was appropriate not only for those “awakened” yet unjustified sinners, but for Christian believers as well. 

But how did John Wesley go about the business of self-understanding? Those who have studied Wesley will be aware of the distinction between his unpublished diaries and his published Journal. This gives us an important clue. The diaries began early in 1725, at about the time when Wesley discerned his vocation to be a priest. The works of “practical divinity” that his mother recommended to him included the suggestion of keeping a diary to record one’s spiritual progress. This practice had been encouraged by the Puritans of the seventeenth century, who would typically write a narrative of their conversion, followed by reflections on their progress in sanctification. Although Wesley’s first diaries included only three entries per day, they grew in complexity, eventually entailing a line for each waking hour. Sometimes interspersed with the diaries were lists of books Wesley was reading, and even a system of rating the fervency of his prayers from hour to hour. 

When the diaries are transcribed and published, they will be immensely helpful to historical specialists, and (I suspect) immensely boring to everyone else. They are highly repetitious, and often consist of terse phrases (such as “necessary religious conversation”) repeated for several hours of each day. But Wesley’s carefully written Journal was a very different work indeed. Written for a popular audience, the Journal collects the most interesting stories, culls the boring and repetitive bits, and offers stimulating reflections on the events of Wesley’s own life and of the world around him. By the time he wrote down his experiences in the Journal, he had a clearer sense of the working of divine providence in his life and in the Methodist movement. Wesley’s letters often reflect similar material. Moreover, there were two or three occasions when persons transcribed oral sermons as Wesley preached them. These reveal the inclusion of narratives very much like those of the Journal, but which do not typically appear in the published texts of Wesley’s Sermons on Several Occasions. 

What all of this suggests is that Wesley had a fairly elaborate system of personal introspection. Diary entries were only initial forays into recording events. But just as a writer might keep an informal notebook or scrapbook and return to it in the course of composing more sophisticated works, so Wesley seems to have come back repeatedly to the material in his diaries, thinking about it, evaluating it, publishing selections in his Journal, and selecting appropriate materials for letters or for informal sermon illustrations. This process of extended reflection allowed him to see his own life against the backdrop of God’s work in his world. 

A career in ministry requires an accurate knowledge of oneself, of one’s own gifts and graces, and of one’s weaker points as well. It requires a willingness to allocate time and energy for this kind of reflection, without becoming preoccupied with oneself. It requires, in Wesley’s terms, “a right judgment of ourselves.” As you contemplate a career in ministry, consider Wesley’s model of careful reflection on one’s own calling and ministry. “Know thyself” in the light of God. 

By Ted A. Campbell, Wesley Theological Seminary.